Archive for September, 2008

Helluva weekend.

Posted in Circadian Events with tags , , on 16 September, 08 by MastrN8

This past weekend was a blast. Got to hang with my dad, which rarely happens and got to see a great ballgame.

Last Friday I was still bummin over the chem test that I had failed the previous week. I look to the future with hope however, as the current chapter makes a little more sense to me than the last two. Anyhow, I stayed late Thursday night doing homework, continued on it all day Friday and still had to stay up until seven Saturday morning so that I could get it all done and enjoy the weekend.

After a three hour nap on Saturday, I showered and packed so that my dad (coming from out of town) could scoop me up and take me up north where we attended a family party. We got there around two and had a blast playing some Cornhole and tossed the football around. We left around 7 or 8 so that we could head downtown where we checked into a Grand Hyatt so we could sleep in and avoid the crowded streets on our way to the game the next day. We did this intentionally so that we could go bar-hoppin and check out the downtown scene. We had a lot of fun, though I have to admit, it was very quiet downtown for a Saturday night. We hit up a few bars (mostly just to stay out of the intermittent rain) and met quite a few really cool people. Everyone kept asking what Dad did for a living and when he said that he was a high-ranking corrections officer, you could tell that they were impressed. I’m so damn proud of the guy! The best response though was from this one chick who was absolutely plastered to the wall! She said, “Oh, you work in a prison? You’re a geologist then?” Nice. Coincidentally enough, it turned out that her occupation was flight attendant. She was from California and yes, she was blond-haired and blue-eyed. I couldn’t cram another stereotype into that description if I tried.

Around midnight, after having been out for about four hours, and having canvassed the majority of the greater metro area of downtown, we decided that the beer in our hotel room sounded better than the $3.50 jobs at the bar. We headed back and stayed up listening to my ipod and playing cards. I love to listen to dad’s stories when he’s lit up because they’re the stories that he’d never tell anyone otherwise, let alone his own son. Dad’s stories of taking moronic bets to do dangerous and idiotic stunts never fail to make me laugh til it hurts. He and his old army buddies put johnny Knoxville and Steve-O to shame. At one point I’m pretty sure I wet myself just a little. I’m not proud of it, but there it is. We retired for the evening around 3:30.

Next morning, since I hadn’t slept in about 39 or 40 hours, needless to say, I had difficulties. Luckily, I had slowed down on the alcoholic beverages enough to not have a hangover, but I was still runnin at about 35% capacity. I was not a happy camper. Mind you, dad had let me sleep in as well. We checked out of the hotel around 11 and immediately hit up the local Starbucks. Thank you over-priced pretentious coffee! George Carlin once said that the length of your Starbucks coffee order was directly proportional to how big of an asshole you are. Me? I order a grande coffee. Black! Carlin was definitely onto something there. I sure do miss that cranky old bastard! But I digress.

Since the game started at one, we thought we’d head straight to the field and just walk around. The game we went to didn’t mean anything as our team had already lost any chance of post-season glory. The stadium was relatively empty and it was nice just to relax and have a brat and a beer and bask in the glow of a fall baseball game. It was sweet. The day went by much too quickly as the game was a great exhibition of pitching prowess. I love those nearly scoreless games that rely on pitching stamina rather than steroid enhanced batting skill. To me, that is what a baseball game is all about. The rest of it is all details.

Dad and I had one helluva weekend together. Sorry you had to get the abbreviated cliff-notes version, but I do want to try to keep this page at the very least PG-13. Dad and I didn’t get into as much trouble as we normally do anyway. It was just cool to hang out with him. Hell, I never see him anymore since I’m married and live so far away. Don’t worry though, I won’t get all cat’s in the cradle on you. I will say this though, I hope that I turn out to be a fraction of the father that he is to me.

Sorry George.
You came in a close second, especially with bits like “The Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television” or “Baseball vs. Football”, but you can never top my hero.

Love you Dad.


Upcoming events.

Posted in Circadian Events with tags on 13 September, 08 by MastrN8

Today I am going to a family party and then onto a ballgame tomorrow. I have been so busy recently that in order to have this weekend with my dad. I had to stay up most of the night in order to keep up on my homework. I have a Bio test Monday, a journal critique and speech due on Tuesday, not to mention a lot of studying for chem. I failed my first test in chem last week and wish not to duplicate that result. It’s going to be a long week.

I have also been working on a new post for a day or two now. I guess it’s turning into more of an essay than a blog entry but it is totally worth it. I’m excited to see how many imaginary hits and comments that my imaginary readers will post. Oh well, if anything, this blog has given me an outlet to empty my head and keep it clear for the important stuff like molarity and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

Until next week…

Lessons learned?

Posted in Scattershot with tags , on 11 September, 08 by MastrN8

What have we learned in the last seven years? The only apparent lessons gleaned from the awful experience were things like: fingernail clippers can kill; explosives can be contained, not to mention walked on, in footwear; or that cancelling public events, no matter their triviality, shortly after the events in 2001, were signs of “letting the terrorists win”. Win what? They killed hundreds of people! There was and is no win or lose here. There has just been death. Death of those tragically killed in the towers; on the airplanes; or in the battles that our soldiers have fought, in vain, for the last seven years or so. I feel that America has gotten into this thing too deep to just pull our troops out suddenly. We need to wean our support from the middle east gradually. That being said, I believe we as a country need to draw the line somewhere. To quote comedian David Cross, “Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting a war on jealousy. At no point will we say, That’s it! Got ’em all!””. We’re fighting a war that that has been fighting for 6000 years! Human civilization began between the Tigris and Euphrates. And where are those rivers? Iraq. America being barely 232 years old, entered a war that is, quite literally, as old as mankind itself. Are we so naive to think that peace can truly exist with that kind of history?

I have no answers to what we, as a nation, should or should not do concerning this conflict. As you can see, I too am conflicted in my views. I only have questions. What have we learned? How can the events of 9/11/01 be avoided in the future? How can we convince people that different beliefs in religion is no reason for war? The blatant hypocrisy that God put us here not to commit abortion but grants leniency on killing people, sometimes the innocent, in times of war is a frustrating prospect for me to digest. This is a two-way street, as are most things. Radical muslims maim, torture, and kill those that they consider infidels in the eyes of their god. Neither side, in my eyes, have conducted themselves appropriately in the past seven years. I have to admit that once I saw the footage of the towers falling, I too had the knee-jerk reaction of, “Let’s bomb the bastards!”. Who didn’t? Can anyone honestly say that they wouldn’t have ordered the strike either? Once the dust settled though, I thought, “Now what?”. Establishing a democratic government? Accusing Saddam of harboring weapons of mass destruction? We were in the wrong country! Kim Jong Il had them the whole time! But that’s beside the point.

My  point is this. As the close of this first decade in the 21st century draws nigh, what lessons will we be able to say that we have learned? We know the scale of color on a terror alert! How will that help us? If we are not sure of what the lessons are, how can we employ them in order to evolve ideas on society and the violent threats within that society? The whole point here is to learn and evolve. If a region of the world hasn’t been able to evolve from war for 6000 years, will they ever?

Nascar can do it, why can’t I?

Posted in Scattershot with tags on 10 September, 08 by MastrN8

I have always wondered how much local companies would pay me to advertise their company. I have no delusions that I am the first to come up with this idea, but why wouldn’t some business, especially a new company, pay me to put an advertisement on my car and drive in designated areas. Now, I know that there are companies out there that already do this but I have an added twist. You know those big trucks that have billboards in the bed of the truck, you know the ones that promote their own business rather than their clients. My idea is this: I tell a company that I will drive my own personal car with a car length magnet on both sides of the vehicle. The company would be able to state the terms of where I drive and how often. They would pay for gas and the making of their magnetic sign. Of course the sign would be theirs to keep and I would only require gas and time compensation. I believe this idea to be similar to the guy that hangs out on a nearby street corner with a sign.

I find that the beauty here lies in simplicity, low start-up costs, and mindlessness. One would only need to talk companies into fronting the cost. Which is relatively low compared to T.V., radio, or even billboards. I know a lot of companies that are on the road anyway have the advantage of this type of advertising but what about restaurants? The problem though is that companies aren’t clever or thoughtful about it. The entire advertisement is just a name, maybe a logo, and contact info. Why stop there? Spice it up! Get my attention! The most clever idea I’ve seen are the vans or trailers that have a life-size pic of a guy with the illusion that said van or trailer is open. That type of ad is a little more complex for the purposes of my idea, yet, I figure if Nascar drivers can rent out their car, why can’t I?

Because it requires a big time commitment, not every car on the road would be a rolling billboard. The company would need to be very specific about where the driver would be and for how long. Suppose you have a restaurant that just opened up about a mile away from a high concentration of offices, downtown for instance. Why not have a driver circle the blocks of these office buildings between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m.? The sign could be very specific since you know your exact demographic. Something like, “Feel like a burrito? Jose’s is just four blocks away!”

Maybe your lifelong dream is to open a pet shop, but the cheapest premises that you could find was two blocks from Petsmart. Why not have a driver circle a mile radius with many pics of puppies chasing each other from the hood clear around the car. Picture it? a puppy on the hood chasing a puppy on the side on the trunk back to the hood. You stop at the stoplight adjacent to the big box that says, “Cuter puppies can be found at Mary’s Pet Store”.

Another upside to this is that you aren’t locked into one client. By using magnets, you can easily remove the ads. in the morning you promote the delicious omelettes that they serve at Joe’s Diner near the old folk’s homes, in the afternoon you’re promoting awesome car stereos near the local high school, and at night you cruise by apartment complexes promoting a recently opened night club. Why don’t I see these cars everywhere? It would make a great part-time job for single parents that are making their errands throughout the day.

Now I know I am missing a huge side of this, especially on the legal side. The driver, being an agent of the company whose sign is on his/her car, might run into problems of being in a competitor’s parking lot. Not to mention Al Gore whining about raping the earth for financial profit, but honestly, who isn’t? There is also insurance and liabilities to think about. Those are details that can be ironed out. I just think that this would have been my dream job in high school. I would’ve been paid to do nothing but drive and I would be able to remove the ads before i picked up a date.

If you find something wrong with this idea, imaginary reader, please let me know. If you try it let me know if it works so I can take a cut of your profits for theft of my intellectual property. Just kidding. Give it a shot, I’ll bet many low-key or start-up companies with little funding for advertising would eat this up.

Long way down….

Posted in Scattershot with tags , on 10 September, 08 by MastrN8

I know I’ve posted already but this is too good to keep to myself. I cracked up at this story because of the extreme opposite of how we view postal workers that are, to quote the article: “overtaxed” by their duties. Normally we see postal stress manifest itself into a nut job with an affinity for heavy-duty firepower……. But not this guy!  Enjoy!

Oh yeah, one more thing, I wanted to share this pic I got online. Many of you have seen it on Obama’s ruthless smear campain ads of Johnny boy. I thought it was priceless! I swear if Ol’ GW were seated when this pic was taken, Johnny would be in a fetal position, sucking his thumb fast asleep! Enjoy….s’more!


Kisses, N8

The grind is freaking frustrating!

Posted in Circadian Events, Scattershot with tags , , , on 10 September, 08 by MastrN8

In my last post I told the non-existent public of my recent enrollment into a new school. As you know, I have had a hard time adjusting to the immense differences between the two schools. This new school’s policies, administration, etc., pisses me off partly because I’m not used to their rules, and also because I feel like they treat the student population as if we were in high school. Now I mean this not in the context of the functioning day-to-day policies, not in the coursework, which you will soon see.

This semester seems to be my toughest so far. This is a double-edged sword. I feel sufficiently challenged, yet over-whelmed with the coursework. I just had my first test of the semester yesterday which I feel I failed miserably. The prof. said he’d grade on a curve, so I hope that everyone else did even worse than I feel I did. That last sentence was horribly written. I apologize. Let’s move on. I have to have an informative speech ready to give on tuesday next, just after a Bio test on monday. My psych prof. has also announced that my ten-minute presentation on States of Conciousness will be given on 14 Oct., holy poop. On top of it all, I am going to a ball game this Sunday when I should be prepping my speech. I can’t cancel however, I’ve had these tix since X-mas. Oh well, I deal.

So what else can I whine about? Mothing comes to mind, right now but stay tuned.

The super collider was fired up today. I’m as excited as one can be about this without geeking out to the point of playing Magic the card game. I was watching CNN this morning and the focus wasn’t, “Hey look at what a global scientific and profoundly monumental acheivement for the world of knowledge this is!”, it was more, “Hey look what ignorant retards think will happen! A Youtube video of a blackhole swallowing the planet!”. Are you fucking kidding me?  I had a teacher say that he heard one physicist say that they will make a black hole so microscopic that it will last one-trillionth of a second. The chances of it swallowing the earth is 1 to 10 to the 64th power.

Let’s put it this way, there is a  

1 to 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

chance that what idiots think will happen, will happen. When given that answer though, a physicist must still say, “yes, there is a chance that the ignorant are correct.” Theere is a better chance that one person will win the lottery every drawing for the next fifty years. There is a better chance that if you set a pitcher of water on a level table and leave it alone that all of the waterwill levitate into the middle of the pitcher and hang there in a ball while gravity remains the same. There is a better chance that O.J. Simpson was framed after all and didn’t hoodwink the legal system. There is a better chance of the pope saying something like, just kidding folks, we made up Jesus, sorry!

In closing, the world is ignorant, doesn’t want the facts, nor do they want to do the tedious research. It seems that the most common trait amongst the human population, is the knee-jerk reaction. They hear something they don’t understand and instead of learning more about it in order to understand before passing judgement, they shutdown and say “I don’t know what you are talking about, but I sure as hell don’t want you to do it! I’m not listening! La la la la la la!” The same goes for stem-cell research and gay marital rights (and yes, they are rights regardless of what the catholic church says). 

I realize I’ve just come out of the cynical closet, not to mention throw my hat into the crowded political ring, yet this shouldn’t shock those of you few who really know me.

Until next time my imaginary readers!