Kamikaze run up to finals

I have been slacking off this whole semester. Not only my blog writing, but everything in general. I have struggled with apathy this entire semester and I can’t understand why. It isn’t that I don’t like school or don’t want to finish, it’s just that my sense of urgency has not been there. I’m so close to the end and all  I want to do is lounge about watching movies. I really need to change my ways and get out of this funk.

I miss having a job. Maybe that’s the problem. When I worked and went to school, I knew that I had to finish my work by a certain time and beyond that I would fail. Now that I don’t work, I procrastinate and don’t stay focused. If not a job, I need to come up with something that forces me to get my work done. Don’t misunderstand me though, I am maintaining my grades, but this time around it is coming down to the wire. In all of my classes I am at the precipice between a B and an A. Normally, I have enough of a buffer so that if I blow the final I can still scrape a low A, this is not the case this semester.

This past friday I was inspired and forced to reevaluate my study schedule. I my cousin Julie’s doctoral hooding ceremony. She is now a doctor of Physical Therapy. First doctor in the family and I couldn’t be happier! It made me reflect on my own educational path and whether I am going in the right direction. The question as to whether I can accomplish this goal of mine or not has never entered my mind. I am capable of making the grades and learning the material but my discipline has come into question as of late. There always seems to be  a more pressing priority that comes up when I sit down to study. I know not what to do.

I keep thinking to myself that if I can just make it through this semester, it will get better and I’ll start to buckle down. That may be but I need to consciously make the effort to do just that. Until I can admit to myself that I can no longer put off certain tasks then nothing will change. The bright side is that the first step toward correcting this behavior has been taken. I know that there is a problem, now I just need to find the answer.

Wish me luck my imaginary reader, I must start my kamikaze run into finals week.


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